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Living At The Corner of Relaxation Avenue and Calm Street

I love weather! Sometimes I think I should’ve been a meteorologist. But lately I’ve noticed they’ve become a little long-winded, give too much information, and bottom line – they still can’t tell me, 100%, if it’ll rain or not. I have a better sense of it through my nose. So, what’s a person to do?

It’s the same with stress. You don’t need complicated apps, an eco-trip, or some other super techy gadget to help you stop negative stress in its’ tracks.

You need you.

Living At The Corner of Relaxation Avenue and Calm Street

A solid foundation, an intimate awareness of your unique sources and symptoms of stress will help you inoculate yourself and keep the negative stress wolves at bay.

This month, I’m keeping it short and sweet. If you take to heart the following 3 easy ideas, you’ll be on your way to living at the corner of Relaxation Avenue and Calm Street.

  1. As you go through your day, notice your emotional and physical feelings. Don’t run from them, but become very clear on how you’re feeling. Then decide whether or not to act on them. For example: if you’re angry that your 17-year old still hasn’t taken out the trash, think about what could be going on for her. And then you remember she’s studying for her AP Spanish exam. Now what are you going to do?
  2. Notice how often during your day, you have the thoughts, for example, “I want….”; “I hope…”; or “I feel”. Just notice them, don’t try to change them. But as you do this, you may notice the focus remains on you. Just as in number one, you could become inquisitive and ask others, from a genuine space, how they’re doing. This could take you out of yourself and create a better, deeper connection with others.
  3. When you are with others, actually be with them. No more making shopping lists, or worrying about the drive home. Be completely, emotionally, and well as physically present.

What do you think? Gonna try these this month? Think of it as an experiment and see where it takes you.

As always, I love helping women live happier lives. Whether you call it depression, anxiety, stress, or nerves, I’d like to help. I invite you to call me at 512.680.2874 for your free 15-minute phone consultation. Let’s discuss how I may be able to help. If we decide to meet, I’ll have chocolate waiting for you.

Looking forward to hearing your story and helping you feel better,

Dr. B.

Spring Cleaning For Your Mind: Doing This One Thing Could Get You Closer To Where You Want To Be

Happy Vernal Equinox. This is always one of my favorite times of the year-forget New Years and setting resolutions or intentions- I’m all about spring cleaning; which means getting rid of the clutter.

 

Clutter, of course, can be physical, but I like to focus on the emotions, feelings, and thoughts that don’t serve you. Clearing that type of clutter can make it a whole lot easier to eventually be able to clear any physical clutter you may have.

 

One way to think about clearing emotional clutter is to think about what or who you want in your life. What’s your rationale, your motivation for this?

 

If your motivation is for example, more money; a new sweetie; winning a trip or a medal; or something like this, you’re relying on external motivation to move you forward. You might think, if I have more money or a new sweetie, then my life will be complete. But if you don’t get the above, you might feel like a failure and in that sense, these external motivators just became new stressors for you and you certainly don’t want that.

 

If, however, your motivation comes from a deeper part of you, it loses its’ externality and become more internal. The excitement becomes palpable; you can feel, see, taste it being real in your life. For example, if initially you were externally motivated to get a new sweetie, if you search and find your internal motivation, you might find that it’s really because you want to share the wholeness of your being with another person. Here, you don’t need the other person to feel complete, you believe you already are and you want to share that and expand your excitement about life and love with this new person.

 

So your inner motivation is and continues to be learning and growing your Self and sharing that with all you encounter. One thing you may notice is when you do this and start seeing the benefits, you’ll want to do it more, so this internal practice is self-reinforcing and motivating. And then, all those external things you wanted – the sweetie; more money; like that- start more easily coming your way.

 

Clearing clutter, no matter which kind, is a powerful tool. If you’d like some help with this, I invite you to call me for a free 15-minute conversation. Let’s see how I may be able to help. If we decide to meet, I’ll have tea and chocolate waiting for you.

I’ll talk with you soon,

Dr. B.

It Takes Less Time To Prevent Than To Heal

It’s February and it’s Black History Month so it was sadness that I recently read about the death of Joseph White, PhD, clinical psychologist and “the godfather of Black psychology”. He had a heart attack on a plane en route to visit family and friends.

Just as he got and kept the conversation going and challenged the ‘deficit-deficiency’ model, I want to keep the conversation going about something else that we, as African Americans, don’t like to talk about – depression.

And yes, I know it’s not even depression screening month, but depression doesn’t wait for a particular month to show up; it strikes, sometimes without warning, and indiscriminately. Meaning that it can affect all different kinds of people, even those that are traditionally considered to be “strong”, or appear to have no obvious reasons in their lives to be depressed.

For those of you reading this who self-identify as African American, you may have grown up being told, “just snap out of it”. Yet depression can negatively affect a person’s ability to eat, sleep, go to work, enjoy times with friends, or take care of their children. African American women experience higher rates of depression compared to White women or even African American men, yet they are also among the most undertreated group for depression. African American men still experience depression, yet are forced to hide it because they may believe they have to “man up”; i.e., don’t have, talk about, or deal with your feelings.

It’s time to stop suffering in silence.  It’s time for the pain to stop.

Here are 3 simple and practical ideas if you suspect you, a friend, or loved one, may have depression:

1. Share how you’re feeling with someone. A trouble shared is a trouble halved; this could be the hardest part, but it helps you to know you have support and love.

2. Read up on it. There are several books and legitimate websites that have depression information. Your MD probably has depression pamphlets in her office-take one. Actually take more and share them with friends and family.

3. Get help. After you’ve shared with someone and gathered more information and think, yep, this ain’t the blues, it’s depression, reach out to a mental health professional who specializes in working with people who have clinical depression.

Remember, your mental wellness is your responsibility and the life you want to live and create flows from it.

As always, I love helping women live happier lives. Whether you call it depression, anxiety, stress, or nerves, I’d like to help. I invite you to call me at 512.680.2874 for your free 15-minute phone consultation. Let’s discuss how I may be able to help. If we decide to meet, I’ll have tea and chocolate waiting for you.

Looking forward to hearing your story and helping you feel better,

Dr. B.