I want to give a big shout out to all of you who completed the questionnaire. And then your gift for completing it was a 30-minute ZOOM Q and A where I also shared some extra easy ideas on self-care for uncertain times. Just to let you know, the fun is just starting. I’m working on something that I’ll be sharing with you in about 2 weeks.

So stay tuned – your new life is waiting…

But for right now, please enjoy this lead up article:

Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 1)

Wow, we’re entering our 8th month here of, well, life as we’ve never known before. And unfortunately we have no idea when things will get back to normal – normal to me means I’ll be able to give my bff’s great big hugs, which I’m seriously missing right now.

So what are we left with?

We’re left with finding new and more creative ways to take care of ourselves and our families so we can all get through this while maintaining our emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

When I say self-care what does it mean to you?

For many women, when I ask them that, they don’t know how to answer except to say they feel guilty for taking time out for themselves. My answer is always, if you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t take time out for yourself, no one else will because no one else can live your life for you.

Self-care has to be deliberate. You have to make the deliberate decision that you are important and that you’ll do whatever it takes to maintain your well-being so you can be your best self not only with and for yourself, but with and for others too.

Also, self care is not about being selfish-it has nothing to do with that. Self-care is recognizing your worth, your value, that you are just as important as a meeting. (Actually I think you’re a lot more important than any meeting)

Today I’d like to share 4 different kinds of self-care. There are additional kinds, but today, let’s start with these 4. To get the most from this, bring out your favorite journal, a notepad, or hey, anything to write this out so you can keep a record of it.

Also, I suggest you physically write this out-research continues to show that putting pen to paper engages your brain such that you process information in a way that leads to a better, deeper understanding of it.

First is emotional self-care:

Think about how you’re taking care of your emotions. Are you allowing yourself to feel your true feelings or are you hiding them saying, they don’t matter, or “I shouldn’t feel this way”.

Your feelings are important-they tell you when something is going right and when something is going wrong.

In your journal (I’ll just say journal from now on), write down some ideas of how you’re already taking care of your emotions AND at least 3 new ideas that you will start doing to take care of your emotions.

Here’s one example: Maybe you felt angry about something recently and you decided to not bottle it up, but to share it with the person you were angry with. This shows you’ve already started sharing your true feelings with safe others. Keep it up!

Now write down some ways you’re already taking care of your emotions AND at least 3 new ways that you will start doing to take care of them.

Second is physical self-care:

Are you getting some regular movement or exercising regularly? Getting regular medical check ups? I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir when I say you already know the benefits of regular medical checkups, like checking the girls, your blood pressure, dental and eye checkups. What about movement, exercise? It doesn’t have to be hardcore, just enough to get the heart pumping and you breathing deeper.

Here’s one example: Since the weather is getting cooler, taking a walk after dinner. Don’t forget your mask-you might meet someone along the way.

In your journal, write down some ideas of how you’re already taking care of your body AND at least 3 new ideas that you will start doing to take care of your body.

Third is spiritual self-care:

Spent time with yourself lately? It is in those alone times that we reconnect with ourselves, with others, and for some of you, with a higher power. It’s unplugging and taking care of your inner self, your Higher Self-the part of you that knows what is best to do to live in alignment with your morals, your values, your beliefs.

Here’s one example: spend time in nature. Research continues to show the benefits of being out in nature to calm the mind as well as calm the body.

In your journal, write out some ideas of how you’re already engaging in spiritual self-care AND at least 3 new ideas that you will start doing to take care of your spiritual self.

Fourth and last is intellectual self-care:

Read a great book lately-one that totally engaged you and helped you think outside the box? Our minds need nurturing too, so giving them something that helps stimulate ‘the little grey cells” benefits you on multiple levels.

For example: if you have an interest in antiques, you could choose a country and read up about antiques unique to that country.

In your journal, write out some ideas of how you’re already engaging in intellectual self-care AND at least 3 ideas that you will start doing to take care of your intellect, your mind.

ACTION STEP SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: To help you start making self-care a larger part of your life, choose 1 new idea from a single category and start doing it. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself with this, so take baby steps and have compassion for yourself as you start this.

But you may be thinking, I don’t even know where to start – which one do I choose? Is one better than another? Oh goodness, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed again.

I’ll share some ideas to help you untangle this in the next newsletter in a few days.

Stay tuned; your new life is waiting… November 6!

Be safe, be well

Dr. B.