Tag: <span>self-care</span>

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Enrollment open for Be The BOSS of Your Story

Checking in to see if you have any questions about, Be The BOSS of Your Story. Hit reply and ask-I’m here for you.

If you’re wondering whether this course is right for you, consider this:

November 2021-

  • Where do you want to be?
  • What do you want to be doing?
  • How do you want to feel? Emotionally? Physically? Spiritually?

The last question is really important because what you do today will set you up for a 2021 so you can:

  • Have a plan for your self-care and be living it
  • Gain tools to help you see choices
  • Have relief from what’s stressing you
  • Be able to work through stressful things and not have them consume you
  • Reduce physical symptoms of stress and anxiety
  • Regain focus and know where to focus

 

You can have this and more!

Remember, this course is NOT therapy but is results oriented using evidence-based, practical, easy-to-learn, powerful information.

Think about: Who do you want to be the BOSS of your story?

See you in the course,

Enroll now

Be safe, be well,

Dr. B.

 

PS: Save the Date: Monday, November 16 @ 7 PM for kick-off/orientation. I’ll send the link on Saturday, November 14, with a brief survey to get us off to a great start.

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Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 3)

Big thanks for your comments. I can feel the momentum building as we get to today’s final installment about self-care.

Just to recap, in the first newsletter, I shared about the importance of self-care and 4 different types of it. Remember, self-care has nothing to do with being selfish, so no need to feel guilty. It is about recognizing your worth, your value, that you’re just as important as a meeting.

In the last newsletter, we talked about how choosing 1 activity from 1 type of self-care can have a domino effect to get you feeling better.

Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 3)

Also, from the last newsletter, if you’re still wondering what to do with this new found freedom because your time, energy, and maybe even funds, have been freed up, let’s check in with Pam (pseudonym) again.

Remember, she started taking solitary walks to reconnect with herself and started being more assertive with her family to make this time sacred. Freedom for her was, initially, taking those walks. Yet on them, she noticed her mind become more clear, the brain fog was lifting, the volume on the anxious thoughts was lower-in fact she said, those thoughts were actually fading and she was beginning to see choices for her life.

Freedom came to Pam in the shape of a quieter mind (and body) where she could start planning what she wanted to do next. She now had time to think about starting back playing piano again, doing watercolors, and reconnecting with a couple of old friends she’d lost touch with. She now had the time, emotional energy and bandwidth to do this, whereas before, most of her time was used rehearsing thoughts of regrets, dread, and what ifs.

This is possible for you too!

What if you could…

  • Recognize and handle anxiety and stress
  • Experience inner peace and feel happy inside
  • Say NO, mean it, and stick to it!
  • Turn a bossy mind into a helpful ally
  • and Make yourself the most important meeting of the day?

 With that, I invite you to join my upcoming BETA Version collaborative, interactive, and experiential 5-week course. We’ll address being pushed, pulled, and stretched thin during these uncertain times. Yes, it’s time for some serious self-care!

This is NOT therapy, but a course where you’ll learn skills, new information, and create strategies so you can deal with stressful, anxiety provoking, or uncertain situations with calm, confidence, clarity, and creativity.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to be on the lookout for my next email on Monday AM with all the details. This is a limited offer to you my newsletter subscribers who have journeyed with me over the past 9 years.

Stay tuned; your new life is waiting…Talk with you on Monday,

Be safe, be well

Dr. B.

 

 

 

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Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 2)

In the previous newsletter, I shared about the importance of self-care and 4 different types of it. Remember, self-care has nothing to do with being selfish, so no need to feel guilty. It is about recognizing your worth, your value, that you’re just as important as a meeting (actually, I believe you’re way more important than any meeting!).

And thanks for your comments and questions. I’m keeping them close as I lead up to Part 3 and beyond.

Today, let’s meet Pam (pseudonym). She called me on a 104 degree Monday afternoon saying she needed to see me right away; that she couldn’t take it anymore.

Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 2)

We met via my secure video platform. Pam is in her early 50’s but looks like in her early 40’s. She presents well and looks like she has it all together.

She’d told me she’d spent last Saturday afternoon literally sitting in her closet, crying, because “ I didn’t know what else to do”.

Pam said, “Dr. B., I know I first gotta get a handle on this stress or anxiety or whatever it is and then I know my life will start working again, I’ll be my old self again”.

I gently smiled, looked her in the eyes, and said, “Pam, I hear you. If you’re willing, let’s do something a little counterintuitive. Let’s work backwards on this and what I mean by that is, the first thing we need to do is NOT get a handle on stress or anxiety.

The first thing we need to do is to get a handle on you – take care of you. What I hear you telling me is that you’re going, going, doing and doing, for everybody except yourself. And this pandemic, it’s making it worse. You’re telling me that you feel guilty when you try to take time out for yourself. You know what it sounds like — you’re stretched thin, like butter, spread over too much bread.

I think it might be a good idea for us to start exploring what being there for you could look like. Let’s get a handle on that first and the stress and anxiety –they’ll start getting handled as we put some good self-care into place. What do you think?”

After Pam and I briefly discussed different types of self-care, Pam decided she wanted to start with spiritual self-care.  She shared she used to consider herself a spiritual person, but lately, she’d lost touch with that too. From our talk, she chose solitary walks in her local park as a way to reconnect with herself.

So her homework was to start incorporating these walks, no kids, no dog-just herself and her mask (she might pass someone on the way and masking up is excellent self-care!). Research continues to show the benefits of being out in nature to calm the mind as well as calm the body.

She agreed to take 3 – ambitious – before our next session. To ensure she was able to follow through, we also came up with a new personal boundary and an assertive statement she’d use with her family when she was planning her alone (i.e. walk) time. She was excited and said, “This could actually work. I’m starting to feel better already”.

I’ll bet some of you are saying, “But this won’t work for me. I really need to do something about my stress and anxiety BEFORE I start working on myself.  And going for walks, that’s just too simple”.

I’m gonna counter this and say, by working on yourself first, you’ve already started working on the stress and anxiety.

How?

Because when you start, like Pam did, choosing and putting in place different types of boundaries (emotional self-care) and being more assertive (more emotional self-care), you’re already laid solid groundwork for decreasing the possible sources and symptoms of stress and anxiety in your life.

For example, when you say No and mean it (boundary/emotional self-care), you free up your time, energy, and possibly funds and can now use those where they’re most needed, which in turn gives you more freedom. We all want more freedom don’t we? What will yours look like?

That’s the question, because now, with more freedom, there’s a new void and since nature abhors a vacuum, you’ll probably want to fill it, but with what?

I’ll share some ideas to help you untangle this in the next newsletter. Stay tuned; your new life is waiting…

Be safe, be well

Dr. B.

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Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 1)

I want to give a big shout out to all of you who completed the questionnaire. And then your gift for completing it was a 30-minute ZOOM Q and A where I also shared some extra easy ideas on self-care for uncertain times. Just to let you know, the fun is just starting. I’m working on something that I’ll be sharing with you in about 2 weeks.

So stay tuned – your new life is waiting…

But for right now, please enjoy this lead up article:

Self-Care: It’s Not Just Bubble Baths and Chardonnay (Part 1)

Wow, we’re entering our 8th month here of, well, life as we’ve never known before. And unfortunately we have no idea when things will get back to normal – normal to me means I’ll be able to give my bff’s great big hugs, which I’m seriously missing right now.

So what are we left with?

We’re left with finding new and more creative ways to take care of ourselves and our families so we can all get through this while maintaining our emotional, physical, and spiritual health.

When I say self-care what does it mean to you?

For many women, when I ask them that, they don’t know how to answer except to say they feel guilty for taking time out for themselves. My answer is always, if you don’t take care of yourself, if you don’t take time out for yourself, no one else will because no one else can live your life for you.

Self-care has to be deliberate. You have to make the deliberate decision that you are important and that you’ll do whatever it takes to maintain your well-being so you can be your best self not only with and for yourself, but with and for others too.

Also, self care is not about being selfish-it has nothing to do with that. Self-care is recognizing your worth, your value, that you are just as important as a meeting. (Actually I think you’re a lot more important than any meeting)

Today I’d like to share 4 different kinds of self-care. There are additional kinds, but today, let’s start with these 4. To get the most from this, bring out your favorite journal, a notepad, or hey, anything to write this out so you can keep a record of it.

Also, I suggest you physically write this out-research continues to show that putting pen to paper engages your brain such that you process information in a way that leads to a better, deeper understanding of it.

First is emotional self-care:

Think about how you’re taking care of your emotions. Are you allowing yourself to feel your true feelings or are you hiding them saying, they don’t matter, or “I shouldn’t feel this way”.

Your feelings are important-they tell you when something is going right and when something is going wrong.

In your journal (I’ll just say journal from now on), write down some ideas of how you’re already taking care of your emotions AND at least 3 new ideas that you will start doing to take care of your emotions.

Here’s one example: Maybe you felt angry about something recently and you decided to not bottle it up, but to share it with the person you were angry with. This shows you’ve already started sharing your true feelings with safe others. Keep it up!

Now write down some ways you’re already taking care of your emotions AND at least 3 new ways that you will start doing to take care of them.

Second is physical self-care:

Are you getting some regular movement or exercising regularly? Getting regular medical check ups? I’m sure I’m preaching to the choir when I say you already know the benefits of regular medical checkups, like checking the girls, your blood pressure, dental and eye checkups. What about movement, exercise? It doesn’t have to be hardcore, just enough to get the heart pumping and you breathing deeper.

Here’s one example: Since the weather is getting cooler, taking a walk after dinner. Don’t forget your mask-you might meet someone along the way.

In your journal, write down some ideas of how you’re already taking care of your body AND at least 3 new ideas that you will start doing to take care of your body.

Third is spiritual self-care:

Spent time with yourself lately? It is in those alone times that we reconnect with ourselves, with others, and for some of you, with a higher power. It’s unplugging and taking care of your inner self, your Higher Self-the part of you that knows what is best to do to live in alignment with your morals, your values, your beliefs.

Here’s one example: spend time in nature. Research continues to show the benefits of being out in nature to calm the mind as well as calm the body.

In your journal, write out some ideas of how you’re already engaging in spiritual self-care AND at least 3 new ideas that you will start doing to take care of your spiritual self.

Fourth and last is intellectual self-care:

Read a great book lately-one that totally engaged you and helped you think outside the box? Our minds need nurturing too, so giving them something that helps stimulate ‘the little grey cells” benefits you on multiple levels.

For example: if you have an interest in antiques, you could choose a country and read up about antiques unique to that country.

In your journal, write out some ideas of how you’re already engaging in intellectual self-care AND at least 3 ideas that you will start doing to take care of your intellect, your mind.

ACTION STEP SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO ACCEPT IT: To help you start making self-care a larger part of your life, choose 1 new idea from a single category and start doing it. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself with this, so take baby steps and have compassion for yourself as you start this.

But you may be thinking, I don’t even know where to start – which one do I choose? Is one better than another? Oh goodness, I’m starting to feel overwhelmed again.

I’ll share some ideas to help you untangle this in the next newsletter in a few days.

Stay tuned; your new life is waiting… November 6!

Be safe, be well

Dr. B.