I’m back!

Sorry it’s been awhile but I had to get through jet leg, new seasonal allergies, and oh yes, heat exhaustion. This has been a challenging summer!

Some of you have shared you decided to make this the ‘Summer of Yes’. I applaud that and to let you in on a little secret-you inspired me! I’m ready to launch the Calm and Confident System^TM and I’m now accepting appointments for a Calming Conversation^TM with me.

3 Ideas To Create Your Next Best Chapter

Have I told you lately how powerful you are? I mean it – I’m serious. With your thoughts, beliefs, ideas, attitudes, and actions you’re now living what you decided in the past. For some of you, you’re exactly where you want to be so I’m gonna raise my hand and holla, “Respect”!

But supposed you’re not living how you really want to be living?

Time for a mindshift – a little jot to your reality.

If you think of where you are now as a temporary situation, that only means that things can and will change. The key is: recognize that you can make a new decision as to what you want it to change into.

So what does your next best chapter look like? And how can you help yourself start living it a whole lot faster? Here are 3 ideas:

1. Make the decision that you are going to move forward towards positive life changes. This actually is the hardest part because as humans, we like comfort. Change, positive or not, is scary because we don’t know what our life will really be like once we have that change we say we want. And so it’s easy to stay comfortable and unfortunately stuck.

1. If you can make the decision, then remember those thoughts, actions, and ideas I mentioned earlier- you’re gonna have to change them. The beauty is you get to decide how many of them you want to change and what you want to change them into. It can be very simple and easy, but it will put you on your path to your next best chapter. For example, my simple and easy action is to make sure I drink at least 3 liters of liquid a day. I admit sometimes I don’t reach it, but I do my best because I know it’ll keep me healthy and I’m in this life for the long haul.

3. Seek out others creating their own new best chapter. Hey, broken record here – it is so much easier to go through something when you have support than to do it alone. By being with others, you’ll hear new ideas and see new actions which will make it much easier to self-reflect on those you may want to change.

4. BONUS Go visual. Whether it’s a vision board or in your mind, regularly visualize what your new chapter looks like. For all of you that I’ve shared the lemon exercise with, you know the power of visualization.

See if these ideas resonate for you. If they do, and you’d like to take it to the next level, schedule a Calming Conversation^TM with me. We’ll talk about what’s on your mind and then you decide where you want to take it.

Happy Autumn and thanks for letting me continue to share some ideas with you,

Dr. B.

Community Notice:

1. Schedule a Calming Conversation^TM. If we decide to work together the first 3 of you get 50% off the regular investment.

2. National Depression Screening Day: October 11, 2018

3. October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month: Ladies, time to get the girls checked!

4. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month: “Your silence will not protect you”-Audre Lorde

Life has been hitting me a little harder lately, so I know it’s definitely time to take a break. I’ll catch back up with you in August. Yes, I too sometimes have difficult days; but they’re difficult because of the meaning I give to them, and yes, I’m the only one who can give meaning to my day. But I wanted to leave you with some of the things I’m doing and thinking about, that keep me going strong.

Ladies, Time To Get Your Sexy On

I hate Austin traffic! For those of you who know me, you know driving is not my idea of a fun time; I much prefer reliable public transportation, like trains. But lately, drivers who don’t use their signals; drivers who weave and drift because, even though it’s illegal, they’re still on their cells; or drivers who refuse to follow any road signs – they’re all on my sh*tlist. And that’s not good – Time to get them all off.

What about you? What do you need to get off your sh*tlist so you can get your sexy on?

I’m not talking about sexy in the traditional sense. I’m also not talking about sex. Believe me, when you’re stressed and feeling stuck, sex and intimacy aren’t even in your vocabulary. Why? Your body knows this is no time to ovulate. But I digress.

I’m talking about what helps you feel confident, powerful, and in control?

Getting your sexy on means you have self-respect; you don’t let what others do influence how you feel or what you do. It also means you’re exciting and dynamic, you love and take care of yourself, you’re comfortable with yourself, plus you can make heads turn when you walk into a room. It’s not necessarily about how you look though. Although looking good can definitely help boost self-esteem and increase confidence. It’s an attitude that says:

“I’m in charge here. I know what I want. And I can make the right decisions to get me there”.

Think you’re ready to get your sexy on? A few questions for you:

1. Are you in touch with how you feel, body, mind, and spirit, right now?

Take a few moments and do a self-inventory.

2. Do you want to have a different, better quality of life?

In other words, are you ready to get unstuck so you can feel calm, confident, in control, empowered?

3. Do you know what could be keeping you from not moving forward as fast as you’d like? Something at work? All your friends are somewhere else? An attitude that doesn’t uplift you?

4. Are you ready to say GOODBYE to whatever is holding you back and HELLO to what you truly want?

Depending on how you answered AND if you’re ready to get sexy on, I’ve got 3 easy ideas:

1. Get your body moving to decrease your stress hormones, and increase the ones that make you feel really good by putting on your favorite jam and settin’ the floor on fire.

2. Keep your groove goin’ by doing something fun and physical with your friends. You’ll come away refreshed, energized, and feeling more connected.

3. Show stress the door by starting a walking group at your office. Get your boss on board with this; invite them to join you and make this a daily event.

So for this month and June, what will you do to get your sexy on?

As always, I’m here to help you create a life of calm, confidence, and maybe a little badassery. If you’re ready to do that or even just considering it, call me at 512.680.2874 for a free 15-minute ‘Calming Conversation’ and let’s see where it takes us.

And thank you, for letting me stay in touch with you.

Dr. B

I love weather! Sometimes I think I should’ve been a meteorologist. But lately I’ve noticed they’ve become a little long-winded, give too much information, and bottom line – they still can’t tell me, 100%, if it’ll rain or not. I have a better sense of it through my nose. So, what’s a person to do?

It’s the same with stress. You don’t need complicated apps, an eco-trip, or some other super techy gadget to help you stop negative stress in its’ tracks.

You need you.

Living At The Corner of Relaxation Avenue and Calm Street

A solid foundation, an intimate awareness of your unique sources and symptoms of stress will help you inoculate yourself and keep the negative stress wolves at bay.

This month, I’m keeping it short and sweet. If you take to heart the following 3 easy ideas, you’ll be on your way to living at the corner of Relaxation Avenue and Calm Street.

1. As you go through your day, notice your emotional and physical feelings. Don’t run from them, but become very clear on how you’re feeling. Then decide whether or not to act on them. For example: if you’re angry that your 17-year old still hasn’t taken out the trash, think about what could be going on for her. And then you remember she’s studying for her AP Spanish exam. Now what are you going to do?
2. Notice how often during your day, you have the thoughts, for example, “I want….”; “I hope…”; or “I feel”. Just notice them, don’t try to change them. But as you do this, you may notice the focus remains on you. Just as in number one, you could become inquisitive and ask others, from a genuine space, how they’re doing. This could take you out of yourself and create a better, deeper connection with others.
3. When you are with others, actually be with them. No more making shopping lists, or worrying about the drive home. Be completely, emotionally, and well as physically present.

What do you think? Gonna try these this month? Think of it as an experiment and see where it takes you.

As always, I love helping women live happier lives. Whether you call it depression, anxiety, stress, or nerves, I’d like to help. I invite you to call me at 512.680.2874 for your free 15-minute phone consultation. Let’s discuss how I may be able to help. If we decide to meet, I’ll have chocolate waiting for you.

Looking forward to hearing your story and helping you feel better,

Dr. B.

Happy Vernal Equinox. This is always one of my favorite times of the year-forget New Years and setting resolutions or intentions- I’m all about spring cleaning; which means getting rid of the clutter.

Clutter, of course, can be physical, but I like to focus on the emotions, feelings, and thoughts that don’t serve you. Clearing that type of clutter can make it a whole lot easier to eventually be able to clear any physical clutter you may have.

One way to think about clearing emotional clutter is to think about what or who you want in your life. What’s your rationale, your motivation for this?

If your motivation is for example, more money; a new sweetie; winning a trip or a medal; or something like this, you’re relying on external motivation to move you forward. You might think, if I have more money or a new sweetie, then my life will be complete. But if you don’t get the above, you might feel like a failure and in that sense, these external motivators just became new stressors for you and you certainly don’t want that.

If, however, your motivation comes from a deeper part of you, it loses its’ externality and become more internal. The excitement becomes palpable; you can feel, see, taste it being real in your life. For example, if initially you were externally motivated to get a new sweetie, if you search and find your internal motivation, you might find that it’s really because you want to share the wholeness of your being with another person. Here, you don’t need the other person to feel complete, you believe you already are and you want to share that and expand your excitement about life and love with this new person.

So your inner motivation is and continues to be learning and growing your Self and sharing that with all you encounter. One thing you may notice is when you do this and start seeing the benefits, you’ll want to do it more, so this internal practice is self-reinforcing and motivating. And then, all those external things you wanted – the sweetie; more money; like that- start more easily coming your way.

Clearing clutter, no matter which kind, is a powerful tool. If you’d like some help with this, I invite you to call me for a free 15-minute conversation. Let’s see how I may be able to help. If we decide to meet, I’ll have tea and chocolate waiting for you.

I’ll talk with you soon,

Dr. B.

It’s February and it’s Black History Month so it was sadness that I recently read about the death of Joseph White, PhD, clinical psychologist and “the godfather of Black psychology”. He had a heart attack on a plane en route to visit family and friends.

Just as he got and kept the conversation going and challenged the ‘deficit-deficiency’ model, I want to keep the conversation going about something else that we, as African Americans, don’t like to talk about – depression.

And yes, I know it’s not even depression screening month, but depression doesn’t wait for a particular month to show up; it strikes, sometimes without warning, and indiscriminately. Meaning that it can affect all different kinds of people, even those that are traditionally considered to be “strong”, or appear to have no obvious reasons in their lives to be depressed.

For those of you reading this who self-identify as African American, you may have grown up being told, “just snap out of it”. Yet depression can negatively affect a person’s ability to eat, sleep, go to work, enjoy times with friends, or take care of their children. African American women experience higher rates of depression compared to White women or even African American men, yet they are also among the most undertreated group for depression. African American men still experience depression, yet are forced to hide it because they may believe they have to “man up”; i.e., don’t have, talk about, or deal with your feelings.

It’s time to stop suffering in silence.  It’s time for the pain to stop.

Here are 3 simple and practical ideas if you suspect you, a friend, or loved one, may have depression:

1. Share how you’re feeling with someone. A trouble shared is a trouble halved; this could be the hardest part, but it helps you to know you have support and love.

2. Read up on it. There are several books and legitimate websites that have depression information. Your MD probably has depression pamphlets in her office-take one. Actually take more and share them with friends and family.

3. Get help. After you’ve shared with someone and gathered more information and think, yep, this ain’t the blues, it’s depression, reach out to a mental health professional who specializes in working with people who have clinical depression.

Remember, your mental wellness is your responsibility and the life you want to live and create flows from it.

As always, I love helping women live happier lives. Whether you call it depression, anxiety, stress, or nerves, I’d like to help. I invite you to call me at 512.680.2874 for your free 15-minute phone consultation. Let’s discuss how I may be able to help. If we decide to meet, I’ll have tea and chocolate waiting for you.

Looking forward to hearing your story and helping you feel better,

Dr. B.